Know Your Stars: Naruto Cast
by Mama san Saki
Summary: naruto, Kakashi, Jiraiya, Ayame, Gai, Sakura, Hinata! Neji, Gaara, Haku, Orochimaru, Kabuto, sasuke, Itachi and Deidara still to come! Know your stars, Naruto Style! With Mystery guest at the end!lemme give you a clue, It's Inuyasha!
1. Uzumaki Naruto

Ninja Genius: Look, this is my first fanfic, so if this turns out to be the most stupid thing you've ever read, please don't flame me.

_Uzumaki Naruto was at Ichiraku Ramen being really obnoxious when he got sucked into a black hole and landed on a sidewalk in Canada._

NG: Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars… 

Naruto: hey, this isn't the ramen stand…and why is it so damn cold!

NG: Uzumaki Naruto, he is basically an idiot.

Naruto: What? I can't be an idiot, I don't even know what the word means!

NG: …You're joking, right?

Naruto: No, I'm serious!

NG: Do you even know what serious means?

Naruto: Of course I do, …I just found out today.

NG: … idiot… Uzumaki Naruto, he really hates ramen.

Naruto: NOOOOOO! It's a lie! -_Takes out packet of ramen- _don't listen to her my delicious friend…

NG: you talk to ramen?

Naruto: umm…

NG: … idiot … Uzumaki Naruto, he has a crush on Sasuke.

Naruto: NO WAY! That is seriously out of order!

NG: Come on Naruto, stop living a lie.

Naruto: What's that supposed to mean?

NG: … idiot … Uzumaki Naruto, he sleeps with a TonTon plushie and a Pakkun nightlight.

Naruto: No I don't, and why do you keep calling me idiot?

NG: You are correct, I should stop using enormous words that are too complicated for you to

Understand.

Naruto: umm …Why thank you. 

NG: …idiot… now you know, Uzumaki Naruto, an idiot who talks to ramen even though he hates it, has a crush on Sasuke and sleeps with a TonTon Plushie and a Pakkun nightlight. Any way, Next Victim, Hatake Kakashi!

Naruto: They SOOO do not know me and I SOOO do not have a crush on Sasuke! Dattebayo!

NG: Do you even know what Dattebayo means?

Naruto: No… do you?

NG: … I hate you.


	2. Hatake Kakashi

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Know Your Stars.

Hatake Kakashi was drinking himself silly while listening to Sasuke complain about how he was all alone in the world when he passed out and woke up in a studio on a comfy chair.

**Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars, Know Your Stars…**

_Kakashi looks around wondering where that voice came from._

**Hatake Kakashi, He isn't really a genius.**

Neither are you… who is this?

**Hatake Kakashi, he is known for making really good pizza.**

I'm known for making a lot of things. Wow, this chair is really comfy.

**Hatake Kakashi, he really HATES the Icha-Icha collection.**

… Where am I?

**Hmm…. Subject is showing no signs of insanity, proceed to level two.**

Wait… no more alcohol, no more annoying little emo complaining about how he's all alone in the world, I'm SAVED!!!!!

**Hatake Kakashi, he stalks Iruka.**

That's a lie. :)

**Yeah right. I even have proof. Look._ Takes out picture. _See? Proof.**

That's not me stalking Iruka. That's me at Iruka's house with Kurenai, Asuma and …Gai (_shivers)._

**Proceed to level three. Hatake Kakashi, is gay.**

No, That doesn't seem possible. :)

**Sh Why the f aren't you getting annoyed you son of a b!**

Well, because you saved me from becoming an emo myself, and because I realised that everything you say is just a plea for attention and the only reason you say it is because you are very insecure. And that would make you… an EMO! Oh Sh

**WHAH!!!!! It's true! I'm all alone in the world!!!!**

NOOOOO!!! THE STUPID EMOS!!!! I CAN'T GET RID OF THEM!!!!!

**WAHHHH!!! Ooo, a reaction.**

Stopped Crying? Then no, that doesn't count as a reaction.

**It doesn't?**

No.

…**WHAAAH!!! WHY MUST YOU BE SOO CRUEELL!!!!**

Jeez, hey, ya know what will make you feel better?

**_Sob _no, what?**

Pizza.

**Ooooo, cool. Well, now you know, Hatake Kakashi.**

Damn Straight.

**Oh and by the way, since you can cook, you can call me BB.**

Oh. Is that your real name?

**Who cares? You can cook. Next Victim, Jiraiya! **


	3. Jiraiya

Chapter 3 

Disclaimer: PLEASE DON'T FLAME ME!

_Jiraiya was "gathering research" in the bushes when he tripped and fell and almost drowned (inventive, don't you think). He then woke up in a studio on a comfy chair._

**Know your stars, Know your stars…Jiraiya, he can't write a book to save his life**

Yes I can! Just ask Kakashi! 

** Kakashi, do you like the Icha-Icha collection?**

No. Its true. The only reason I read it is because Jiraiya said he would give me 40 of 

the profits.

No! Kakashi, you don't mean that do you? 

Just take a look at chapter 2. I mean, 'Junko said, "Oh, I think I am going to lose sight of you."' What the heck is that!

**Jiraiya, he once made out with a smelly fish.**

Here's your pizza.

**Oh, why thank you.**

I did NOT make out with a fish!

**No. You didn't. You made out with a SMELLY fish.**

I HATE YOU! 

Cheer up Jiraiya, have some wine.

Oh, thanks. You made this yourself? 

Yes :D

THIS WINE IS AMASING!!!

**THIS PIZZA IS DELICIOUS!!!**

Thanks

How do you do it? 

I can't tell you.

Awwwwww, please? We won't tell anyone. 

I said NO you freaking retard. :)  


**Oh. Well, now you know, Jiraiya, the fish-snogging pervert who couldn't write a book to save his life. Next victim, she works at the ramen stand, you guessed it, Oh wait, no you didn't, It's AYAME!!!!!**


	4. Ayame

Ayame was swooning over a picture of a maskless Kakashi that she took in episode 101, when the picture exploded and she got sucked into a black hole and landed in the studio…on…THE FLOOR! (Hahaha, you thought I was going to say a comfy chair, didn't you?)

Ayame: Oww… **NG: Know your stars, know your stars…**

Kakashi: Don't you ever get tired of saying that?

**_NG: Sigh,_ yeah. Ayame, she can't really make ramen.**

Naruto Appears:**Yes She Can!**

Kakashi: Yes She Can!

Ayame: Yes I Can! 

**NG: Jeez, okay, why should you care anyway, Kakashi?**

Kakashi: …

**NG: Ayame, she forces her grandpa to be her servant. Naruto: No she doesn't Kakashi: No She Doesn't**

Ayame: No I Don't

**NG: Jeez, okay, why should you care anyway, Kakashi**

Kakashi: …

**NG: Ayame, she has a crush on Kakashi.**

Ayame: …

Kakashi: …

**Naruto: …**

Kakashi: You like me?

Ayame: Well how can you blame me when you have a face like that!

**Naruto: You've seen Kakashi's face?**

**NG: You've seen Kakashi's face?**

**Ayame: ya! 'I've even got a picture of it, see?**_ Holds up picture of Kakashi eating ramen._

**NG: Wow **

Naruto: Wow

Ayame: I know!

**NG: Wow **

Naruto: Wow

Ayame: I know!

**NG: Wow… You really _are_ hot! And you can cook!**

**Naruto: I…I think I'm gay**

Everyone stares at Naruto

**Naruto: Ummm… look! A flying donut!**

**NG: ……idiot…..Well now you know, Ayame, Can't cook so she forces her grandpa to be her servant, **

**and…**

**everyone: THEY DON'T KNOW HER AT ALL!**

NG: WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE, KAKASHI! Oh, wait a sec, Kakashi likes Ayame too! 

Everybody stops staring at Naruto and is now looking at Kakashi.

Kakashi: I…guess that is true… **NG: Well…** Kakashi: sigh, Ayame, will you go out with me?

Ayame: …okay.

**NG: Well, see you guys, because the next victim is the Ugly green homosexual of Konoha!**

**Maito Gai!**


	5. Maito Gai

**A/N: (1)Under the mattress is a fanfiction. If you haven't read it yet, then I suggest you do before reading this one. Short summary of under the mattress is in this fanfic. Enjoy!**

* * *

**  
**

Maito Gai was in the middle of the sunset sequence with Lee when a blinding light emerged from the sunset and Maito Gai found himself in Kakashi's kitchen.

**Know your stars, know your stars…know…Oh forget it. Maito Gai, he sticks a sock in his underwear so his 'bulge' looks abnormally large in his garish green spandex.**

That's not true! And aren't we in Kakashi's house? Can I go back to the youthful sunset? Lee was telling me how he thought Neji was asexual.

**Yeah, but he's on a date right now, and he won't mind us turning his house into a torture chamber...wait, NEJI'S AN ASEXUAL?  
**

Or so it seems. Who are you torturing?

**You, idiot. **

Oh…Kakashi's on a date? With who?_ Sound of door opening and then sound of laughter._

Gai? What the Heck are you doing here!

**Hi, Kakashi! How's things with you and Ayame?**

Oh, good, good.

You, and the Ramen Stand girl?

**Yeah, they make a really cute couple.**

Thanks! I gotta go. Ayame's waiting for me in the lounge. Expect us back in about 2 mins. 

**2 mins? OOOOOHHHHH! I see what you mean!**_ Wink_**! Anyway, back to the point. Maito Gai, he owns a leech farm!**

Of course I don't! What makes you think that?

**The fact that 2 of them escaped and are now right above your eyes.**

…You mean my eyebrows?

**Aha! So you admit that your eyebrows look like stray leeches!!!**

NOOOOO! Stop it! You're sucking out my Springtime of youth!!!!!

**You are right. You do suck very badly, OLDIE!!**

Hey, that's not nice at all!

**Maito Gai is gay.**

No I'm not!

**Well then, how do you explain this! **_Pulls out gay porn magazine._** Kakashi found this in your room!**

IT'S A LIE!!!! And how did Kakashi get into my room ANYWAY!

**Remember 'Under the mattress?'(1)**

Yeah…OMFG! He said he wouldn't tell anyone!

**Yeah, umm… it's hard to keep a secret that was written in a fanfic! I mean that's like telling the whole world a secret and asking them not to tell anyone!**

Oh yeah…

**For anyone who hasn't read the fanfic, Kakashi lets Gai borrow his shirt, and now he wants it back. Which brings us onto the next topic. Maito Gai, he has a crush on Kakashi.**

Yeah right! I do NOT have a crush on Kakashi. Why would I have a crush on Kakashi?

Why would I, The Beautiful Green beast of Konoha, have a crush on Kakashi, my eternal rival?

**I don't know, you tell me, you're the one with the crush.**

SCREW YOU! Whoever you are…

**Why don't YOU get screwed, after all, you need all the help you can get.**

I HATE YOU!

**I know you do.**

Well still, I'd like you to prove that I like Kakashi!

**Everyone in the world loves Kakashi, including you. Well now you know, Maito Gai, a gay leech farm owner who admits that his eyebrows look like stray leeches, is an oldie who I am sucking the springtime of youth out of, is gay and is hot for Kakashi. **_Hearing this, Kakashi walks back into the kitchen with a HUGE grin on his face._

That is NOT TRUE! They SO do not know me AT ALL!

Oh, I think they do. 


	6. Haruno Sakura

_Haruno Sakura was rearranging her Sasuke shrine, when a picture swallowed her up and she landed In the studio on a comfy chair…Nah, I'm only joking, she landed in Gai's room._

Hey , isn't this Gai's house?

**Yeah, wait, how would YOU know what Gai's house looks like. OMFG you guys are dating aren't you?**

EEEEWWWWWWW! Heck no! shiver I KNOW because everything here's so green. Hey, what's this sticking out beneath the mattress? _pulls out gay porn_ O.o. It's…a…um…o.

**Hehehe…Haruno Sakura, she's really a dunce.**

Wait, you're calling ME a dunce? You gotta be out of your mind. I'm the smartest kunoichi in Konoha!

**Ah, yeah, KUNOICHI! From the evidence, kunoichi are quite stupid.**

Oh yeah? What evidence?

**Ummmm….INO!!**

Oh yeah…Ino is quite stupid...well…how do you explain the perfect test results I got in the Academy? HMM?

**Simple, you cheated. I mean, Shikamaru was too lazy to argue, so he helped you.**

ARRGH! WELL NEVERTHELESS IT'S A LIE!

**Jeez! Okay, forehead.**

What the fuck did you call me??

**I said FOREHEAD! And aren't we rude today!**

What the fuck do you mean by forehead?!

**Well, come on! Look at the size of that thing. Go get a job at the cinema, they'll gladly give you the job as the SCREEN!**

_eyes start watering_ WAAAAAHHHHH! Why must you be so CRUUUUUUEEEELLL!

**Oh great, another emo. Well guess what'll cheer you up?**

What? _sniff_

**Some of KAKASHI'S PIZZA!**

So the rumour is TRUE!

**Yeah.**

Hey, have you ever seen him without his mask?

**Yeah! Ayame let me keep a copy of the photo she took! You can have a look if you want.**

_looks at picture of maskless Kakashi then has a nose bleed, but quickly recovers_ Why the heck does he cover his face. It's absolutely GORGEOUS!

**Hmm… Well now you know, Haruno Sakura, a stressy dunce who swears a lot, is dating Gai shiverseven though she now has a crush on Kakashi, is an emo, had suspicions about Kakashi and pizza, has an oversized forehead, got a job as a movie screen, is a cheater and was helped by Shikamaru. Hey, I don't think I've ever grilled anyone as much as this before!**

HEY!!!! THEY DO NOT KNOW MW AT ALL!!! IN FACT THEY DISKNOW ME!!!

**Ah, you see? That's a dunce's response.**

Okay, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! TELL ME NOW SO I CAN BEAT YOU TO A BLOODY FUCKIN' PULP! starts swearing her head off

**My, my, Sakura. You seem to like that word 'fuck' don't you? Anyway, I'm sorry for the humongus wait. My internet connection broke down, so you see, I couldn't use the internet at all. Next week, HINATA!!!!!**


	7. Hyuuga Hinata

_Hyuuga Hinata was…just…doing…well…something, when a big sasquatch kidnapped her, and soon found herself in the local gym…IN THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOMS!!!_

Etto…ano…is this…what I …etto…what I …what I think it is???

**What is it little Hinata, too steamy for you**?

blushes ano…what are w…we d…doing in the m…m…m…men's locker rooms?

**I should ask YOU that. Hyuuga Hinata, she likes spying on people as a hobby.**

t…that's not true!

**Then why do you have binoculars around your neck?**

Be…mumbles because I was spying.

**See? Isn't that a lot better? Don't worry, I spy on people too, so I won't make fun of you for that**.

Really?

**Really. I'll just make fun of you for something else!**

sweatdrop

**Hyuuga Hinata…she doesn't really stutter!**

…you call that an insult?

**Well, you see, that makes you…a LIAR! You're not shy either. I saw you get wasted at that party!**

another sweatdrop Which party?

**THAT party!**

…

**Huuga Hinata, she…she…hold on lemme think of sumthin.**

Ano…if your not doing anything…maybe I could go now…

**Shut up I'm thinking! And what happened to your stutter?**

…dunno

**Ah! Got it! Hyuuga Hinata, she's just plain UGLY**

w…w…wah? teary eyed

**Well, I mean, you look like you're blind, your hair is uneven and…did no one tell you? Parkas went out of season years ago. How can you wear that in the SUMMER?**

w…w…w…w…w…w…w……..WAAAAHHHH! NARUTO'S NEVER GONNA LIKE MEEEEE!!!

**girl appears well, now you know, Hinata Hyuuga, an ugly liar who likes spying on people!**

HEY! That's not…

_Asuma and Gai come out of the sauna wearing just a towel…yes, JUST A TOWEL! BETWEEN THEM! THEY ARE SHARING A FREAKING TOWEL!_ _So I said to Lee, "Kakashi may be younger than me, but the fountain of youth…youth…youth…………………………..Hinata? What is such a youthful girl doing in the youthful men's locker room of this youthful gym._

Hey! It wasn't me! SHE brought me here! points to empty space that Ninja Genius used to be

_Umm… Hinata I don't see anyone._

b…b…b…b..b…b…b…b…b…b…………….  
DDDAAAMMMNNN YYOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!!

A\N

Next chapter: Neji!


	8. Hyuuga Neji

_Neji was staring in the mirror, admiring his awsomeness, when he was eaten by his reflection, and blacked out. When he awoke, he found himself in the realm of…__** THE 333DDDD!!!!**_

**NG: Hyuuga Neji…**

Neji: Who is this? You are destined to tell me who you are!

**NG: I am the Ninja Genius, And YOU ARE DESTINED TO BE MOCKED!**

Ayame walks into room. Hey, BB, do you have any Miso soup?

**NG: _Sweatdrops_ Ayame you weren't supposed to call me by my real name…Anyway it's in the top right-hand cupboard.**

Neji: _Starts checking Ayame out._ Hey there beautiful, wanna fell pretty tonight?

Ayame: …………………………A THOUSAND YEARS OF PAAAIIINNNN!!!

**NG: Stares**

Ayame: Um… I was training with Kaka-kun. _Grins sheepishly_

Neji: _Groans for a few minutes, then recovers._

**NG: Hyuuga Neji, is an egotistical maniac!**

Neji: _Sarcastically_ Oh, come on! I'm way to pwnsome to be an egotistical maniac.

**NG: Hmm… is also dumb.**

Neji: Way to awesome for that.

**NG: Is a girl…  
**

Neji: What the…

**NG: And has a crush on Lee.**

Neji: Okay, who is this??

**NG: But they can never be together, because of Lee's love affair with Gai! Sob OTT!(Oh The Tragedy!)**

Neji: WTF!?!??!?!!?!?

**NG: Which I suppose would make you gay… IF YOU WERE ACCTUALLY A GUY!! This would make such a good TV drama. I mean, why else do you spend countless hours infront of the mirror?**

Neji: Alright, Come on down here so I can KICK YOUR ASS!

**NG: Umm……nyo. Anyway, Hyuuga Neji…that mark on his forehead isn't acctually a seal. He went to a tatoo parlour and got a tatoo, but then realised how ugly he looked (he is mad at Hinata because she was the one who convinced him to get the tatoo in the first place.) Now, however much he tries to hide it, it will always be there, staring at him in the mirror.**

Neji: … I KKNNOOOOWWWW!!! _Cries like a baby_

**NG: Which brings me to the question: Why the hell do you keep staring in the mirror if the freaking tatoo hurts you so much?!**

Neji: …I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! _Is still crying like a baby._

**NG: Damn, Kashi was right. You'd be surprised at the number of emos there are in Konoha. Hyuuga Neji…Neji, Neji, Neji _starts mumbling tune to "Mysterious Ticking Noise"_ …is the real hot-blooded dropout!**

Neji: Wait, what the heck's that supposed to mean?

**NG: He is the only Hyuuga who cannot use Byakugan.**

Neji: Oh yeah?!?! Then how do you explain THE EYES!!!???

**NG: Simple.You're blind.**

Neji: _Anime falls_

**NGAnd is asexual. (see chapter 5)**

Neji: What the...Who said that?

**NG: Lee.**

Neji: I'm gonna kill that bastard

**NG: Well, now you know, Hyuuga Neji, an egotistical transvestite who just got a thousand years of pain from Ayame, is dumb and has a crush on Lee, but they can never be together because of Lee's secret love affair with Gai, Which would make him gay… IF HE WAS ACCTUALLY A GUY!!!**  
**Ya know what, Neji, Whatever's going between those to, you should still get out there and fight for yo' man!**

Neji: …Shut up.

**NG: Well, I still think that it would make a great TV Drama series. Don't you? _Turns around to see Kakashi sitting in a corner, munching popcorn._**

**Kashi: I second that notion!**

**NG: And just to spice things up a bit, Lee finds Gai in bed with Kakashi!!**

**Kashi: Ye-…no wait- screw you I'm going to bed. _Gets up and walks away_  
**

**NG: Anyway, Hyuuga Neji has a crummy tatoo, yet is still addicted to his reflection, is an EMO and is the blind hot blooded dropout…who is, believe it or not, blind.**

**NEXT WEEK: By popular demand, we are torturing….. DEIDARA!!!!!!**


	9. Deidara warning strong language!

_Deidara was…..aww, screw it. Anyway, he got digested by his hand and landed in the realm of THE 333DDDDD!!!_

Wha..? Where the Hell am I?

**In your hand, dumbass.**

Hey! What the…

**Deidara, he's a Barbie wannabe.**

What the… says who?

**You look exactly like her. The hair, the mascara, eyeliner, the nail varnish, everything!**

That's it, where are you?

**Deidara, The reason he wears make up is so that Tobi will notice him.**

Now that is way outta line!

**But unfortunately for him, Tobi has already got his eyes set on Itachi.**

… You have a very sick mind.

**Whatever. Deidara, he is seriously into Shoujo manga and Yaoi.**

That is so obviously a lie! _Mumbles_ Damn, how did she find out?

**And shonen Ai.**

SHUT UP!!!

**And Gay Porn.**

Wait. NO. Definitely no. There is no way that I am or ever will be into gay porn!

**Then, how do you explain THIS!! _Holds up picture of Deidara reading gay porn._**

_Sweatdrops _… I don't wear green spandex…

**Well the camera never lies.**

This photo was doctored.

**Well how come it was in your room when I stole it?**

Did you put it in my room before you stole it?

**…maybe.**

This is one of the spandex buddies!

**And is one of the spandex buddies... you?**

What the…NO!

**NO!**

Stop That!

**Stop That Yourself!**

You're gonna get it!

**You're gonna get it yourself!**

I'm warning you!

**I'm warning you…your..self?**

_Sweatdrops _That doesn't even make sense…

**That doesn't even make sense…your…self.**

…Baka…

**Kutabare!**

Mesuinu!

**CHIKUSHOUME!**

Yariman!!!!!!

**KUSO SHINEZO!!!**

UUURRUUSSAAIIIII GGAAKKIII!

**…kuso atama.**

…Nan desu ka?!?!?!

**KUSO ATAMA!!**

Hhayaku inaku nareyo!!!

**IIEE!!!**

Ran out of words…kuso.

**Hehehe…Su.Ka.To.Ro.**

….CCHHIIIKKKUUUSSHHOOOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

**Hehe. I won. Deidara, is a girl.**

….I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I GIVE UP!

**Yosh! Now you know, Deidara, a girl who is a Barbie wanabe, wears makeup to impress Tobi, is seriously into Shoujo manga, shonen ai, yaoi, gayporn and has just ran out of swear words to call me.**

**Next Chapter: LEEE!**

**A/N**

**Translation for the Japanese bit. WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE!!!!**

Idiot

**Fuck you**

Bitch

**Son of a bitch!**

Whore!

**Die Shitting!**

Shut up, brat!

**…shit head…**

WHAT WAS THAT?!?!

**SHIT HEAD!**

Fuck off!!

**NO!**

Ran out of words…shit.

**Hehehe. E.A.T. S.H.I.T.**

DDAAMMMMIITT!!!


	10. Lee and Gai: Concerns for Neji!

**A/N**

**Rikku 92 : w00t! Have a hundred cookies! Infact, have a cake!! Two cakes! With sprinkles!!!! Thanks for reviewing every 5 seconds. Tell the whole world about me!!!**

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GGGAAAAIIII-SSSEENNNSSSEEEIII!!"

"LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

**Lee was doing the sunset sequence with Gai…AGAIN! Then the sun engulfed them…yes BOTH OF THEM! They then ended up in a giant ……..erm…Ice cream van, yup, ice cream van.**

**Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars.**

Gai: Hey, I remember you! I thought you didn't say know your stars anymore.

**I don't, but this is important.**

Lee: Well , what could be so youthfully important that someone as youthfully youthful as yourself would youthfully drag our youthfull youthfulness-

Gai: Erm… Don't overdo it, kid.

**This is about Neji.**

Gai: What about him?

**YOU DON'T KNOW? AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIND AND LOVING ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS! BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! _sobs_**

Lee: Oh. Well, uh, we're sorry, for…whatever we've done…

**I ALREADY TOLD YOU, THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, IT'S ABOUT NEJI!!!!**

Both: WELL WHAT IS IT THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Alright, alright, jeez, I'm right here ya know, no need to shout, anyway, Neji.**

Both: Neji…?

**Jeez guys, can't you see it ? The hurt? The anguish? The sense of betrayal every time you he sees you? And you just walk on by _starts singing_ "If I see you walking on the street, an' I start to cry, each time we meet, Walk on by" _sniffel_ You must know what's wrong with Neji. Of course you know. You have to know, don't you?  
**

Both: ………No.

**_shakes head _Not even you, Lee?**

Lee: _Shakes head_

**I didn't know you could be so heartless. Especially YOU, Lee! I mean, he LOVES you!**

Both: ...…Wha?

**LOVE, Lee, LOVE! Are you telling me you've never heard of LOVE before?**

Gai:Oh! So that's it! I thought he was acting a little strange

Lee: Yeah, he was doing strange stuff, like pointing at me and saying "I'm going to kill you!"

Gai: But seriously, I though Neji was a hedrasexual.

Lee: Really? I thought he was asexual.

_Everyone stares at Lee_

Lee: BUT I TOO AM IN LOVE WITH NEJI!!!

**THEN YOU MUST TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL!**

Lee: YOSH! I MUST GO AT THE SPEED OF YOUTH!_ Rushes out of the room_

**Hey Gai, you seem a little…less youthful today. Something wrong?**

Gai: Well, I haven't been youthful at all since two days ago.

**Oh really, what happened? _Sly grin_**

Gai: Well, Me and Asuma were coming out of the sauna, and we were kinda…naked. Then we saw Hinata, in the Men's Locker rooms.

**Gee. I wonder how she could have gotten in there.**

Gai: Soo… Why did I have to go with Lee?

**Because you guys are dating…or should I say… WERE dating.**

Gai: WHAT? We're dating?

**But of course! And Neji is trying to steal him away from you!**

Gai: HE IS?

**Yup. And you must fight to get him back at all costs!**

Gai: YOSH!

**EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO KILL NEJI!!!**

Yosh!! I WILL GO AT THE SPEED OF YOUTH! Runs out of room

**Hehehe. I am soooo filming this. XD**


	11. Uchiha Sasuke

**_Uchiha Sasuke was training…to slit his wrists…using a dummy…yes, he was training to slit his wrists using a dummy, when the dummy ate him, and he landed…in my room._**

Where am I! Has a dummy just eaten me?

**Hehehe…**

What the… who is this?

**HehehHAHAhehe…**

What the heck are you laughing at?

**Well, I just told Lee that Neji loves him, so he's gone chasing after Neji to tell him how he feels, but I then told Gai that he and Lee are dating, and that Neji's trying to steal Lee away from him, so now I'm watching Gai trying to kill Neji, Neji going "I don't know what you're talking about, I'm an asexual", which is such a lie, cause it's soo obvious that he has a crush on TenTen, and then we have Lee in the middle going, "No! But I love him!!!" And the best thing is, I'VE GOT IT ALL ON TAPE!!**

…So … Does Neji really like Lee?

**…No, but Lee will believe anything you tell him.**

Hm…And did Lee and Gai ever start dating?

**…umm…nyo, but They'll believe anything you tell him.**

So, Lee's bent on killing Gai, for trying to kill Neji, who's trying to kill Lee, who got him into this mess in the first place?

**…Yup.**

But it wasn't really his fault, it was yours.

**…Yup.**

So Neji should really be killing you.

**A lot of people should really be killing me. In fact, if the people who should be killing me did kill me, I WOULD'VE DIED YEARS AGO! Anyway, what are you complaining about? The four people you hate the most are killing eachother!**

What do you mean four?

**Oh, well Itachi just walked by, and now everyone's killing him.**

Oh. You say you've got it on tape?

**…Why yes, yes I do.**

Do you think you can give me a copy?

**Of course!**

Yay!

**After I torture you.**

Wha?

**Uchiha Sasuke, he's not really fussed about Itachi killing the whole Uchiha Clan, It's just that he stole Sasuke's favourite teddy when he was younger.**

Hey, that's not true.

Awwww…. Sasuke's trying to be a big boy, is he?

Shut up.

**No. Uchiha Sasuke, he has a pet duck that he keeps on his head at all times**.

That is soo not true! _His hair gets up and flies away._ Ehh…

**O.o**

O.o

**O.o**

O.o

**…WTF!?**

Umm…

**…O…M…G.**

Ehh…

**Uchiha Sasuke is bald.**

…Kuso.

**Uchiha Sasuke, is a girl.**

Psst! LIIEESS! They're all lies!

**Is also an emo.**

…Am not.

**So now you know, Uchiha Sasuke, a bald, female emo who wears a pet duck on his head at all times, and had his teddy stolen by Itachi when he was younger.**

That's it. I'm leaving._ Gets up and walks away._

** Hey wait you forgot your tape!**

**A/N**

**I don't know whom to torture next. Please tell me by reviewing**.


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